I'm a bit out of balance at this moment and feel as though I'm being swallowed up by my household and mommy duties. Today, being Sunday, I tried to reserve a few hours for "me" time. Well, plans changed as both baby and hubby are down and out with the icky stomach virus going around. So "me" time became "take-care-of-the-things-that-are-driving-me-crazy-or-I'll-be-a-raging-
lunatic-by-the-end-of-the-week." This included laundry, dishes, making the grocery list, mopping the kitchen floor and the dreaded...cleaning out the refrigerator. (All happening in between taking care of two sick boys- Can I just say "eeeww".) When did I become so domestic?
Luckily, I was able to fit in a little knitting, but what I really need most is a hot bubble bath and a glass of wine would be nice. Heck...even a 5 minute foot rub would do the trick.
When I'm feeling out of sorts I usually turn to two things: 1) stillness. (this can consist of a quiet walk, laying on the floor, trying to meditate) OR 2) reach out to others .
So...here I am...reaching out...wondering if you can help. I know that there's a lot more going on in my life than just this one day to make me feel out of balance. I know there are still some decisions I need to make in regards to balancing work, creative endeavors, mommy, wife and family stuff...There are things that must change or things I must let go of in order to regain some much needed, breathable space. I feel a crossroads coming on - a definite shift. I know there are still things that need to change in order for me to feel as though I'm living the life I've imagined. But as I sit here, in desperate need of a 24-hour nap, I ask myself:
"Then do it already...what are you waiting for?"
"What am I afraid of?"
"What is it you REALLY want in this life?"
As I sit and ponder my own deep-seated fears and insecurities...could ya help me out?
I'd like to know this: What do you do when you are confused and how do you push through your fears?
Ok...now...off to the tub.